Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Liverpool European Capital of…Bad Sculpture

What about the legacy of 2008. My opinion is that it is the worst load of rubbish sculpture anywhere in Europe. The latest ones of Kenn Dodd and Fanny Craddock top it all.
Neil Scales the head of Misery travel, who cut the U534 U-Boat into five, and some say should be sectioned himself for a outragous and barbarous act, should be sacked for using public money to dump this trash on us. It was he who commissioned the god awful Ferry Terminal that turned Gerry Marsden to Seasick Steve and then come up with the idea for another Beatles museum because they had nothing to go in it.
Some people should not be let loose with more than 50 quid.

I think Murphy himself should be cast......headfirst into the nearest lake for this one.
Now all those people arriving from London at Lime Street staiton can see for themselves what the Plebs up north do with 200 grand. They waste it on a pair of garbage statues that any kid could have made a better job with, using plasticine and a lolly ice stick. Murphy is best friends with David Charters of the Daily Post so he has had far too much good press. Some sculptors make steel look like bronze, Murphy makes Bronze look like pig iron.
Please someone tell me these are not bronze and I have made a mistake and they are made of plastic padding and cost 100 quid and I will forgive him. I have sold a few sculptures in my time but these have the same copper finish on the prizes they give out in the Mecca bingo down Park lane...with names like y'know "Kid leaning on Lampost" and that sort of stuff.

Someone left a comment on a LPT post..."Do you have to knock everything". Well you try living here mate watching these embarrassing nightmares unfold and see how long it is before you get annoyed.

Doddy said at the opening "Discumknockerous missus"
I agree.

He had the same problem as I did in identifying the material "Its all made of Iron so now we know where Sefton Park gates went" he said.
Going on to sum up the whole joke "Well one of the nicer things is it gives the pigeons a bit of focus they will be better once the hair goes white"
One of his famous quotes is "Everyone in Liverpool is a comedian, you have to be a comedian to live here". I don't know how he managed to keep a straight face.

It was bad enough enduring the comments from educated idiots about the John Lennnon Turkey Spud did at John Lennon Airport which looks like.... errr Ken Dodd with its head like a burst couch. Hang on did he get them mixed up I remember snarling it looks more like Ken Dodd than Jack Lemmon.
Now we have the nightmares on Lime Street.

Murphy cant even sculpt a fat tweed overcoat with a hat on it. Hey and whats that in Bessies hand..oh its a egg. Yes she is famous for getting the lion mark put on eggs ...oh what poetry, what artistic license..the man is a genius I wish I had thought of that.
I would like to take that iron tickling stick that looks like a Kebab in the hand of Ken Dodd and shove it somewhere, very hard so Murphy can never sculpt again.
I do not know how Professor Chucklebutty kept a straight face at least Fanny has whipped up her last Omelette's and cant see the mess that she is to be remembered by.
My opinion is Ken should take legal action he has been made to look like he had shot headfirst over the handlebars of his bike when he was a kid.

I cant stop laughing they are hilarious. Only the one person laughing louder than me is Spud Murphy .....laughing all the way to the bank with 200 grand of my public money now that reall would be Fanny. Only he has made a laughing stock out of all of those who let him get away with this shoddy workmanship that he should be ashamed of himself for making.
LIVERPOOL THE EUROPEAN CAPITAL OF BAD PUBLIC SCULPTURE. Hang your head in shame Mr Scales for your public art programme.
It is best if you leave what you dont know about alone.


  1. I tink Mr Murphy got Bessie Braddock mixed up with Reggie Bosanquet.

    Yaffle Chucklebutty For News at Ten, Grotty Cash

  2. Was this article written on drugs or alcohol...or was it contracted out to a minimum wage student? Charters has retired now, but even so, your obsession with his influence on Art in Liverpool borders on the worrying. Silly stuff.

  3. LOL! "Your comment will be visible after approval." Oh the irony! LOL!

  4. I am not the one sitting up till one in the morning leaving multiple posts.

    Dont drink dont smoke dont do drugs so I can see clearly.
    Can tell you Charters still writes for the Daily Ghost and confirm Tom Murphy has dumped a crap statue at Lime Street station.
    David Charters was his bessie mate and was his publicity agent educating the public on how wonderful his work was, only he is wrong.
    When Charters was constantly writing about how great Murphy.
    It would be a fool who thinks that does not influence the public.