Monday, 11 May 2009

Simon Thurley-Chief English Heretic

Its Friday night again and compulsive viewing is the BBC Series about English Heretics. picture courtosy

The Thurley gig starts again.
You can imagine the build up to this week’s saga.
Basil Thurley to his wife.
“Oh Darling what do you want for your birthday”
“How about landscaping the garden”
“How about landscaping someone else’s garden we could get away with a couple of million no-one would notice and as a special birthday treat you can do it yourself, be a bit of extra money for you”
“Oh Simon I love you”
“I know its easy isn’t it, I can definitely see the attraction”

And off they go. They find this letter from some Elizabethan drunkard who wrote about a garden that was erected for Queen Elizabeth. Despite the fact that it may have only been up for 16 days does not matter to them and they decide to restore it, without a scrap of evidence to support its existence, bullying anyone who stands in their way. Thurdling into it, Good Craftsmen, with skilled trades, are led by Incompetent fools at the ministry, bungling from one disaster to another. They set up a panel of committees, to decide what committee to install. Its so painful. Its like entering the twilight zone.
It’s only the tradesmen, who get completely ignored, who have any common sense in the show.

They start off with a 2 million budget and guess what the budget ends at 3.5 million.
Isn’t there an accountant down at the ministry of silly antics, cant anyone count? It’s every bloody time.
They spend 300 grand on a embankment that a Heretic says err it’s a bit of a health and safety issue "what if wheelchairs fall over the edge we really,do need it". This is three quarters into the job which runs 2 years behind schedule.
If I ran my business in this manner I wouldn’t have one. Its surreal watching them.
Basil Thurley comes on site and that’s where the entertainments really begins, how an earth did someone so lacking in even the basic communications skills get away with it, in my opinion he is a complete twasser.
He walks on set looking like a Saville Row, Bazooka Joe and when told he needs an 'elf and safety induction he throws a Wally and turns on the bloke shouting "20 minutes, 20 minutes, I was in full swing there". Well once he gets going it’s a grin, he must be the biggest embarrassment to all the time wasting, head scratching, bureaucrats that are, part of the ministry of out of touch walks.
Thurley Gig then part gets it right, frying his staff and his organisation in the process “What’s this"..." well the grass wont grow so we err" the minion says.

"Did they have plastic planting trellis’s for embankments in Elizabethan times" and then "who built this wall” as he surveys his kingdom come hobby horse.
Well it did look like something Barney Rubble had a go at I have to say.
Then he says “You can see the cars, (as if like, make them disappear) there is a road there” Then the budget goes ballistic.
They then try everything they can to claw the cash back off the hardworking craftsman joiners, who did a fantastic job, who had erected a wooden aviary replacing the stone idea, saving 300 grand while Mrs Thurley goes off on maternity leave ready to have Little Lord Fauntleroy II.
By this time your shouting at the telly, anyone could see that was gonna happen its so funny. I am biting my thumb laughing out loud. Basil Thurley, it should be made into a film.

Until you realise that the whole load of waste of money has just cost us the taxpayers a fortune while there are 10 buildings on the Heretics “at risk register” in Liverpool and a couple of hundred more on the verge of falling down and this Little Lord Numskull has just spent a third of a million on a marble fountain that wasn’t there in the first place because he wanted a folly.
And Liverpool's World Heritage Site was advised upon by these people.

He has must be the biggest confidence trickster to infiltrate a public funded organisation since……. A FISH


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